walk out...

i know i shouldn't have... but i did... i raised my voice and i walked out...

it was a heated argument with my senior manager... i din't mean to disrespect her...

it just happened...

i usually don't complain, i am good at holding them to remain calm...

but when its time to burst out... it just explodes uncontrollably... its awful...

i'm so sad...

* * *

Lord, grant us peace, Amen.

father richard...

i miss father richard... he is the associate pastor at all hallows church...

well, it started with... "guapo cya"... he was just a deacon then, obediently assisting father bob in celebrating the eucharist... im so impressed with his faith with the Lord and his dedication to his vow that radiates out of his words everytime he shares his homily... ewan ko, but he has a certain effect on me... merely listening to him intensifies my catholic faith... really... his passion to serve the Lord is more than obvious...

i wanted to attend his ordination but unfortunately, we missed it... fortunately, we were there when he celebrated his first mass as father richard... all seats were taken so we have to sit along the aisle (which i really dint mind)... now, its no longer just because guapo cya, on top of that, he has become an inspiration to me... i don't want to miss his mass every sunday...

the week after, he broke a not so good news to the community... his sickness is back... he is ill...can't remember exactly what it is... all i know is what is obvious... he is getting weak physically... he can't walk properly... he can't stand for long... and yes, i was and still am, so affected... it literally breaks my heart when i see him walk... he reminds me of my sister...

despite his illness... his love for the Lord and for the community did not stop him from celebrating the mass... even if it means limping to the alter... even if it means saying his homily seated which he feels so sorry about but which remained as inspiring as before... even if it means celebrating the consecration with the aid of a stool but which became more solemn making you feel that Christ is just beside you...

i admire the zeal he has in his heart... his illness did not stop him from serving the Lord and the community... i admire his faith... everytime i see him, i sympathize with him... i don't think he deserves this... i am not questioning the Lord, i don't have the right to... i just cant help but think about it...

though i feel sorry that he is ill, deep inside my heart... he is actually healing me for my pains with what my sister is going through now... ironically, i draw strength from father richard... to me, he just appears weak, just physically, i know that his faith remains so strong deep within him... seeing him every sunday makes me stronger for my sister... listening to him every sunday, makes me realise my faith will heal my sister... she will get better...

unfortunately, father richard has to rest... he has to stay home... obviously, this means he won't be celebrating the mass... when i learned about this... i felt really sad... i felt sad that i won't see him... i will miss his homily... i will miss his consecration... i will miss him... i will miss my source of strength...

we haven't met personally aside from the typical exchange of smiles at the end of the mass when he waits for everyone at the church door... he doesn't even know me... but i thank God for him...

last sunday, the Gospel that father bob preached really touched my heart and reminds me of father richard and my sister... with full effort, i tried to hold my tears...

"...And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened..."

"Lord, all i have is faith and so i pray... for father richard and my sister... THY WILL BE DONE.... Amen."

ticket...

yey, i've already paid for my plane ticket... im so excited... can't wait for december...

on the side, hay, andami ko pang pagdadaanan na client (including w*s*f*e*d na d ko naiintindihan at ayaw kong intindihin)... hay... i don't want to think about that...

for now, basta, happy ako, excited ako... 4 months and 1 week to go...

ay, waaaahhhh... d pa pala approved ang vl form ko... hay, d ko na alam ang gagawin ko ke mudrang puti...

picnic at royal botanic garden...

contrary to a very fantastic weekend, the week after was literally so exhausting...

good thing, my counselling team organised a picnic at royal botanic garden today... good way to relax a bit in the middle of the busy season...

this time, my counselling team is complete: myself, maribel, dith, joan, eunice and alice... invitees to the picnic were jesus, yolaine, ronald, ruby and karen...

maribel brought alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, yolaine: french bread and cheese, we: palabok, ronald: pancit, karen: durian candies, joan: salad, eunice: cake and alice: potato salad...

obviously... united nations kami... nice chat among everyone!

looking forward to the next...

snowy mountain...

21-22 July... one of my best weekends so far since i came to australia...

it was definitely a fun weekend... had fun with the snow (ang ginaw!!!) ... got tired with the ski gears (mas mabigat pa sa kin so my legs can't twist them properly, hay)... but it was definitely worth it... and the lift trip up the mountains --- really enjoyed it!!!!

busy week...

super FF ako this week... and i hate it...

ayoko ng client ko... ayaw ko ng section na ginagawa ko... d ko naiintindihan... nahihirapan ako...

interest rate swap... fx forwards... fx spot... cross currency swap... currency option... interest rate option... money market... notes... bonds... term borrowings... syndicated facilities...

sh*t!

the prayer...

dear lord,

let this be my prayer just like every child...

i love my sister so much...

my tears tonight mean my faith in your miracles...

let YOUR will be done...

lots of love,
ghie

* * *

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way

Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

La luce che tu dai The light that you give us
Nel cuore resterà Will stay in our hearts
A ricordarci che Reminding us You are the everlasting star
Nella mia preghiera In my prayer
Quanta fede c There's so much faith

Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

Sogniamo un mondo senza piu violenza We dream of a world with no more violence
un mondo di giustizia e di speranza A world of justice and hope
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino Grasp your neighbor's hand
Simbolo di pace, di fraternita As a symbol of peace and brotherhood

La forza che ci da The strength that you give us
We ask that life be kind and watch us from above
and hope each soul will find
oh another soul to love

Let this be our prayer just like every child
E la fede che And the faith that
hai acceso in noi,You've lit inside us
Sento che ci salvera I feel will save us

mmk...

sabi nga ni sam... you filipinos are so melodramatic...

katatapos ko lang umiyak... ang hapdi ng mata ko... pinaiyak ako ni john prats... i was browsing for video clips in youtube and i bumped into this episode of MMK... "rosaryo"... its the life story of rey bautista (d ko cya actually kilala)... this clip made me miss my family so much... oh well, it was a good exercise for my tearbuds...

now, i have to search for a feel-good clip para naman d super bigat ng loob kong matutulog...

it takes jo!

it takes two judgment day is over! jolene won so obviously jo dint!... jolene is definitely awesome and her performances are really fantastic... a round of applause for winning... fair enough... it would have been disappointing if she dint...

it takes two is a singing competition where celebrities are paired with professional singers to show off their singing prowess... initially, wasn't at all interested with this show... no choice, unfortunately, we only have one tv channel (poor!)... so, let's give it a chance...

first episode... here you go, anthony callea... "the" australian idol (i mean runner-up)... he is one of the professional singers... paired to jo stanley... won't forget this day... this day started my anthony days...

what comes after that?... found myself not missing to be home before 7 on tuesday nights... and found myself praying that jo will not crack a note... and found myself liking jo and anthony... they definitely are such a joy to watch... jo may not have the best vocals (of course anthony does hehe)... but she is very much herself in the show... no pretentions... she exudes happiness in what she does... and their choreography, more than fantastic... purely entertaining...

i definitely salute jo...i was hoping but not expecting her to win... as the judges have commented million times... she has her ups and downs during the show... the good thing is... she never gave up.... she embraced the comments on a positive way... for what she has become, she definitely is a winner!...

i will miss jo and anthony...

sofa rest

im literally in sofa rest for four days now...

though its an excuse to stay home and not think about work... i don't really find it to be a very good excuse... so annoying to have a stuffy nose, chills and goose bumps every few seconds, horrible headache, wobbly feeling, etc, etc... the list of nasty feelings goes on...

its already sunday and i obviously can't afford not to report to work still tomorrow... mix of reasons... one, super negative leave balance already... two, bakekang will definitely be so upset and be so worried about her account (o my god, im beginning to think about work, bumabalik na ata pagka FFF ko, but no!)... three... sakit na ng likod ko sa paghiga sa sofa... and four, i just don't like being sick... i really hate it...

lord please, pagalingin mo na ako...

mood mix...

i literally forgot my password... that obviously explains why i haven't had a nonsense pile of words for almost a month now... (sign na ba to ng pagtanda or am i having brain rust?!?!?!)...

anyway, what happened for that almost a month is a mixture of all sorts of moods...

happy mood: received my letter of progression... natural, i should be happy and i am... it was a gamble and i won... few more green bills monthly... thanks po lord!

taray mood: can't hold it... i tried to be calm as much as i can... let's put it this way... the incident calls for it... what will you do if your client is already raising her voice on you coz she isn't good enough to respond to audit queries and would burn her ass just to scare you off?.... get scared?! poor auditor stop asking questions? ghie says: no way...

deadma mood: what will you do if someone just keeps on bombarding your inbox with series of to do's (kulit kulit kulit)... ghie says: "deadma"... don't worry, i'll catch up with you at the right time... i know when the right time is... so even if you keep on bugging me, sorry but "deadma"... magalit ka man, ikaw ang maha-heart attack, not me... be reasonable "bansot"!

charitable mood: found myself shelling out more than one yellow bill to help sponsor a testimonial dinner for CPA topnotchers in Baguio... hmmm, let's just say its my way of sharing my blessings for being a CPA (oh well, d nga lang topnotcher...)

excited mood: already booked!!! can't wait to have a snow fight with my friends... yap, we're going to snowy mountain... 21st july!...

super excited mood: can't wait for aug 5!!!! hahaha super fan of anthony!!! (on the side, im so proud of the performance of anthony and jo on it takes two last night... i can't help but watch it again on youtube... am really so proud... its definitely the 2.5 minutes that jo won't dare forget for the rest of her life...) this may sound corny but its true... i listen to the song "the prayer" every night before i sleep... i already love the song even before i heard anthony's version but his version really made me love the song more.... its my source of strength in everything i do...

lazy mood: this was last saturday... stayed home (feeling ko tuloy me sakit ako)... and literally stayed still on our sofa up until 6pm... kung di pa dumating cna renee and andrei, malamang d pa ko tumayo... sobrang tamad...

sick mood: right now... actually since last night... feeling ko puputok na ulo ko... im literally holding it with two hands baka pumutok... sigh... i hope im well to go to work tom... i just checked my leave balance and its already negative hahahahaha..

can't wait mood: antagal ng sweldo... i already have my shopping list... i think i deserve a reward (see happy mood above)...